“When a good thing becomes an ultimate thing, it becomes a destructive thing.” - Scott Nickell

I’ve been chewing on these words for a month. In all honesty, if you were to sum up my own sin and the the thing that pulls me away from my Jesus who loves me, it is this sentence.

I am the queen of taking something good and making it the ultimate. I let my stomach be my god, whether it be the things I fill it with to console myself in times of hurt or the things I withhold from it and worship it and my desire for a body that looks different than what I have. Each thing takes Jesus off the throne as healer of my heart and owner of my worth.

I am the queen of allowing my feelings to take me to the heights and depths of “everything is all about me.” Girl boss, writer of my own story, take no shit, I deserve everything my heart desires. The trouble with this is that I actually am NOT the writer of my own story. Jesus is. He is the one in control. And honestly, the more I try to control my own story, the more chaotic I feel. I literally feel less peace, more pressure and more failure when I take on the story of everything being about me and what I get out of life. Isn’t that crazy? That’s like, the opposite of what our world tells us now as women.

But it’s not so crazy when I stack it up to the words above. There are so many good words, good books, good people, good food, good disciplines. But man, aren’t we so quick to make them our own personal gods? We want the control, but once we get it, we begin to implode. In the words of Taylor Swift, “This is why we can’t have nice things.” These things begin to shape our minds, our hearts, feeding us a heavy dose of “how to make yourself your own idol.”

I am literally piling firewood in an unconfined space within my home and lighting it on fire. I sit there expecting the warmth and inspiration as the embers spark, unyielding. What turns from idealistic expectation, turns to me desperately trying to stop the fire from burning my home down. That’s exactly what these little false “gods” do, you know. What starts as a warming glow, if left unchecked and out of their rightful place, can burn us down until all that’s left internally, is burnt up ash.

Dear one, I have been left in this state more times than I care to admit. Left in the smoke and dust, my head spins as to how I got there in the first place? Why am I so unsettled? Why isn’t this working? Why do I hate myself? All the things we pour ourselves into, expecting to save us? But what I need to save myself from, is actually MYSELF.

I’m so grateful for the rescuer who stands next to me saying “Have you had enough of that, yet? Come with me. Let’s step out of these ashes together and step into the crown I have waiting for you. (Isaiah 61)” He is our great defender, our only hope, our only rescue and our ultimate LOVE. He is literally everything we seek, and fills every need in every way (Ephesians 1:23, Philippians 4:19). He takes our control, lifts our chains and gently cups our face in His hands saying,

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you REST. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

When Jesus is our ultimate thing, our ultimate love, He reconstructs the places within us that have been long devastated by those “good” things that tried to take over. (Isaiah 61)

Friend, you are never too far in, you are never too far gone. Most of the time, it is never about the “thing”. But all of the time, it is always about your heart. What good things need to be put back in their rightful place? Because your good Heavenly Father and the rescuer that He is, is moving back in and settling that storm inside your heart. Times up, little idols.